Apr

16

Adam Lambert Still Sucks

Posted by Connor | Posted in Normal Blogs | Posted on 16-04-2009

Alright, I think its about time for another American Idol/Adam Lambert update. We are in the territory now where everyone is at least a solid singer, so I pretty much look forward to everyone’s performances, meaning I will be at least remotely disappointed every time someone goes home. And when I say remotely, I actually just mean the lowest possible increment above zero.

So what I will do now is rank the remaining contestants from person I would care least if they went home, to person I would cry myself to sleep at night if they went home:

1. Kris Allen - I know this will probably be pretty unpopular, and I do see appeal of him I guess. And to his credit, he has greatly improved over the course of the competition. But, for anyone who can put looks aside, it is quite obvious that although he does have a decent voice, there are thousands and thousands of Kris Allens out there. Go to a decent bar in Austin, or just about anywhere around the world, and there is a decent chance there is some guy in there with a pretty decent voice, playing an acoustic guitar pretty well, probably singing John Mayer songs and actually sounding not half bad. Kris Allen just does not seem much better than any of these people to me. He got smart and picked some good songs that were either easy to sing (”Ain’t no Sunshine”- hell, on the cruise I went on a few years ago, a guy on there killed that song) or right in his vocal range. But the problem with him remains that although his voice isn’t bad, it is not powerful, it is not unique, and his range is very limited.

2. Lil Rounds - I never really cared for her that much, even when she was doing well in the beginning, just because I am somewhat tired of the powerful black woman singers and she didn’t seem to bring anything extra to the table. She pretty much fell off a cliff a few weeks ago and has been terrible ever since. She just drives me crazy when she tries to put her Memphis accent into everything and it ends up sounding terrible. The only reason I ranked her higher than Kris is because she at least hits a few of those awesome, powerful notes every song that are remotely entertaining. But outside of that, she is pretty terrible.

3. Allison Iraheta - After the Heart song she sang (which was really awesome), I have just been less and less impressed with her each week. There is just something about her voice that doesn’t really do it for me - its like it doesn’t seem as easy to her as it does some of the others. And I am pretty sure her braces make her slur alot of her words and it just sounds really awkward. She does have a unique voice I guess, and I don’t hate the raspy aspect, but compared to someone like Kelly Clarkson, I think KC has an infinitely “purer” voice than Allison.

4. Adam Lambert - Although I did kind of enjoy the chorus part of Born to Be Wild (I love hard rock music), I thought vocally it was one of Lambert’s worst performances. His normal notes just sounded off, and a large majority of his screaming was just annoying. Of course, the performance’s production aspect would lead you to believe you were watching Aerosmith up there, but in fact, it was simply an average singer that can sing really high notes that has been in Hollywood for years unable to get attention.

5. Matt Giraud - At this point in this list is where we get to the people that I genuinely don’t want to see go home. To me, Matt has the most potential as an artist because he has the best OVERALL voice (best mix of pure, unique, powerful, large range, “current”), can rock the piano, isn’t a terrible looking dude, and has a decent persona. I think once he gets in a studio (his studio recordings are some of the best) and finds the best mix of songs, he will really show what he can do. And I always like the songs he picks too…..(but last week, MAN - he really effed up the bridge part) 

6. Danny Gokey - Of all the random hatred out there for certain contestants, this one is the least understandable to me. Actually, I don’t even mind the people that hate him for thinking he is smug (although only an idiot would think that is the case) - the ones that say he doesn’t have a good voice are who drive me crazy. While I think Matt has the best OVERALL voice, I think Danny clearly has the most powerful voice, and has an incredibly awesome mid/high range that consistently gives me goosebumps. Anyone who thinks he does not have a good voice, go listen to his PYT recording - it is freaking awesome. I hate to use this kind of logic, but I think it has merit - there is a reason the judges pegged Gokey as one of the favorites from the beginning, and unlike Lambert, you can’t argue that it was because of his “performances” - it was clearly because of his voice. You are crazy if you don’t think the top 2 are going to be Gokey and Lambert - but Gokey will be there because of his voice, and Lambert will be there because of his performances.

(Disclaimer: To be perferctly honest, alot of the reason Danny is going to be in the top 2 is because he appeals to the Christian, conservative demographic much more so than anyone else. But still, if he didn’t have a great voice, I don’t think it would even matter)

7. Anoop Desai - I ultimately watch American Idol because I am completely enamored by people that can sing well. This is just me, but I care VERY LITTLE about the performance aspect - I am listening to hear awesome voices. I’ve said it from the beginning, and I still stand by it 100% - Anoop has EASILY the best pure voice of any one in the competition. Sure he doesn’t have the range of others, he doesnt have the high end of Lambert, and he doesn’t have the overall power Gokey has. But when he sings (songs that are right for him)…….it just sounds so good to me. Youtube “Clefhangers” - he is in this bad ass acapella group at UNC and they are totally awesome and he is usually the lead singer.

Unfortunately, both Anoop and Matt will probably go home next week, meaning I will have to take a day off next Thursday to get over my pain. 

Freakin Lambert.

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