Adam Lambert Sucks

Posted by Connor | Posted in Normal Blogs | Posted on 27-03-2009

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Yep, I’m about to do this. I’m about to go where no other human has ever gone. I’m about to say what no other human has ever even THOUGHT.

Adam Lambert is not THAAAAT good.

I’m going to pause for a bit while everyone recovers from hearing a statement so out there, so blasphemous, that it cannot possibly be processed by a human brain.

(…………………………….)

Now, I know you are still in a state of shock right now, but I am still going to try to talk about this in a serious tone. If the only way you can continue reading is to tell yourself that all of this is a complete joke, I totally understand.

Basically, I just think Adam Lambert is by far the most overrated singer on this season of American Idol, yet everyone I talk to swears he is God’s gift to singing. Hell, my Dad likes him so much that he bet me five bucks he wasn’t gay, even after I showed him these pictures (ok, it was before the pictures, but still). Don’t get me wrong, I think he is a solid singer, has a range that no other guy can reasonably hit, and has one note he hits that even gives me goose bumps. He is by far the best performer, and his confidence and stage presence are unrivaled. But to me it ends there - he is not that great of an overall singer, and at the very least, is nowhere near the singer everyone seems to think he is. I think Danny Gokey, Matt Giraud, and Noop Dawg all have considerably better “voices” than Lambert.

I think Lambert’s performance from Wednesday is what finally did me in. After hearing the judges gush over it, I found myself utterly confused. Figuring that almost all the other mindless peons people I knew out there agreed, I asked what they thought of the performance. I got nothing less than, “I am going to give my first kid to Adam Lambert so he can raise it with his partner” ”If you didn’t like Adam Lambert before tonight, there is no way you don’t after that performance.” I have watched the entire performance 3 more times since then, and I am still shell shocked that people think that was anything more than slightly above average. People are just obsessing over it because, “he did something different,” and looked “nice”, even though it was pretty boring and hardly better than most of the other performances that night. 

If I really wanted to get specific with this, I would now insert specific audio clips where I find his voice to be very average/bad, but since I know no one is paying attention at this point due to their body convulsions, I will simply keep that for another time.

Summary: Adam Lambert is a pretty good singer, excellent performer, and gay, but is not nearly the singer that Gokey/Giraud/Desai are.

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