Musings of a Mysterious ManCredibility = 0. Opinions = 0 + Infinity.

I might as well change this to the American Idol bitching blog since it is the only thing that compels me to write anything anymore (it is the only thing people read). And after last night, I am here to rant once again.

My top 3 favorites this year, BY FAR, were Anoop, Danny, and Matt. After that, there was a HUGE dropoff to people that, while I thought they had some combination of talent in different areas, were not people to whom I found myself drawn - at least from a vocal standpoint. Obviously, none of my 3 favorites are left, so I genuinely don’t care too much about watching the finale. At this point, I am at least somewhat invested in the “competition” aspect, so I will probably tune in, but in terms of watching to hear great vocals, that time is over. I simply do not think Adam and Kris are very good singers - from a purely vocal standpoint.  

Like many others, I had pegged Adam and Danny as the clearcut favorites to be the top two. 2 months ago, if you had told me Kris Allen would be in the final two, then I would have told you you are as retarded as Adam Lambert is gay (wait, Adam Lambert is gay?). And I seriously doubt I was the only one either. And honestly, I think Kris Allen himself would have told you you were retarded if you thought that! 

So how the hell did Kris Allen wind up here? Here is my theory:

(And I know I am going to lose some love from all my co-Adam Haters out there, but hey, I gotta be honest)

Unlike many others in the top 10, Allen was never featured in any of the early shows. I doubt many people even expected him to get into the top 13. He had a decent voice, good looks, and could play the guitar - that’s essentially the only reason he slipped into the top 13. He seemed to be suffering early on since he did not bring anything special to the table and didn’t stand out vocally. Once he got into the top 13, his first week (Michael Jackson) seemed pretty lame, but there were still enough other shitty people that it didn’t matter, since he was still getting plenty of votes on his good looks. At this point, it seemed imminent that he was headed home once the obvious crappy people without looks were gone (Sarver, Jasmine, Jorge).

But then, Kris started to improve a bit, and the judges noticed it, which meant other voters would notice it as well. I didn’t think he was suddenly great or anything, but he definitely seemed to be getting better (AKA he was just picking better songs). His coming out of nowhere like this allowed him to play the underdog card. People LOVE the underdog. He already had quite a few fans since he was a good looking guy who could play the guitar, but now, might he be a good singer? Additionally, we started to get to “know” Kris a little bit more - we started to see this wholesome, sweet, humble guy, that again, fit right in with his underdog role. And the timing was critical - we began to get to know Kris as he was improving, not before, while he was barely drifting along.

Then, the best thing ever happened to him - he did Ain’t No Sunshine in a somewhat original way (although that version was already out there), an easy song to sing that was right in his register, and he nailed it. So now, he had shown that he could sing,  had all the ladies on board, and had the underdog card. No one else really had this (Adam and Danny had already built their fan bases). There were better singers (IMO), but guys like Anoop and Matt were featured early on in the show, built up expectations (which means bad weeks will lead to stronger criticism), weren’t good looking, and didn’t have the wild card thing going on for them, so when they had their off weeks, they didn’t have a “ticket” to keep them in the race. Even when Kris Allen came out with his epic stink bomb, All She Wants to do is Dance, he wasn’t even in the bottom three because he had already locked down the “good looking, underdog” ticket. 

One more thing Kris has/had going for him was his general style. The mix of the tone of his voice (despite being a poor man’s version of many singers out there today), with his contemporary acoustic sound, is very “in” by today’s music standards. He was basically the only contestant that appealed to the the calmer, acoustic, bar singer sound. So, add that to his “ticket.”

I think this “ticket” idea is the only way to make sense of the fact that Kris Allen is where he is today, despite having an extraordinarily average voice. I have said this before, but come on people, KRIS ALLEN HIMSELF SAID THAT HE WAS THE WORST SINGER OF THE 5 PEOPLE LEFT!!! I have to say, I liked him alot more after he said this, but he was 100% correct - vocally, he couldn’t compete with any of the other 4 people with whom he was standing. But doesn’t this tell you something if you are a Kris Allen fan - he himself doesn’t even think he is that good, or at least not as good as the others. Granted, that isn’t completely true - Kris was more talking about his voice, not necessarily the complete package, but as Randy continues to point out (thank God), this is a singing competition, so that should be at the extreme forefront of the judgment.

As much as I can’t stand Adam, I still can’t believe he will be standing next to Kris Freaking Allen next week. Although Adam’s voice is not something I find satisfying at all, at least he has a unique voice, can really belt out some power, and has a deceivingly good low range - it is his mid range and over the top screaming that I find quite annoying. Kris Allen on the other hand is just………..there. He brings nothing special to the table, a better version of his voice can be found all over the place, and his credibility with music “purists” is his creativity, which he gets WAAAAAAAY too much credit for considering every time he “changes” a song, he is really just finding a different version of the original already done by someone else. That sounds absolutely nothing like an American Idol to me.

Part 2 coming tomorrow……How the hell did he pass up Gokey?